Let's say there's a car freight train rollin' along. Somehow or someway a brake hose detaches someplace along the train. There are only two men in the cab - engineman and conductor. The conductor has to walk the train, reattach the brake hose (if possible), walk to the hind end and perform a brake test with the engineman. Watch This Freight - Ronlee Ln NW, Olympia, Washington - Rated 5 based on 31 Reviews "I can't say enough good and excellent things about Jesse 5/5(31).
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- Freight train brakemanand conductors can look for new job | O Gauge Railroading On Line Forum
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Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Because train robbers aren't really a thing anymore, while pirates and terrorists are, railroads are still a popular way of transporting stuff from point A to point B. Driving a freight train is the type of job that doesn't seem like much of a challenge they don't even have to shovel the coal anymore! Our streak remains unbroken after talking to "Rick" who's a conductor for one of the biggest freight railroads in North America.
5 Horrifying Things You See Driving A Freight Train
He says But where modern freight trains excel is in toting around the scariest shit you could ever imagine. If that chlorine tank ruptures, people are going to die.
The stuff they put in pools? What's so scary about that? Well, let's put it this way: In , a freight train derailed in Graniteville, South Carolina , causing one of its chlorine tanks to burst.
Five thousand people had to be evacuated from the area, with hundreds requiring medical assistance, and nine died from exposure to the gas.
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That's the stuff Rick has to haul during some of his runs. It's almost like having to carry a shipment of Rathtars. But for all Rick knows, he actually might have hauled the occasional alien every now and then because of his dealings with men in black. I was given a manifest that was entirely blank and was told to get everything together and head for Indianapolis, and to not stop under any circumstances.
A helicopter followed us the entire way. Never found out what was in that one. Columbia Pictures. Here's a math problem for you: If a freight train travels at 60 mph and the conductor sees an animal on the tracks, how much time does he have to hit the brakes and stop before turning the critter into a flesh firework?
The answer: not enough. It's unfortunate too, because I value animal lives. Most of the time, its birds or raccoons or opossums, but sometimes it's bigger animals. For example, in January this year, a freight train smashed straight into a herd of deer in Montana, exploding 23 of them on the spot.
Why did they or other animal victims of trainicular manslaughter just stand there like some Rick has a theory about that:. Dogs I think get scared in the center of the track because as we get closer, it starts vibrating and the sound of the train rolling on the rail reverberates through it for quite some distance. They stay there, paralyzed, and there isn't anything that we can do. You can't truly grasp the sheer mass of a freight train if you've only observed them whipping past at a railroad crossing.
They're doing this thing called 'distributed power' that they ripped off from Union Pacific, where there is a random locomotive s stuck somewhere in the ass end of the train that is remote controlled by the head ones.
In turn our trains can be up to 16, feet long, and on excess of 20, tons. There are people who've lived their entire lives in areas smaller than the square footage of a freight train. This technically qualifies Rick's rides as small towns their generators can actually POWER a small town capable of doing 60 mph, and also makes us wonder why mobile municipalities aren't a thing. The Weinstein Company.
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They even bring their own legal system with them. Because of this, local police don't have the authority to enter a train or detain a crew. Jack Delano. If you thought "hobos" went away with the s, you're wrong. People living on the margins of society still need to be able to get around without a car.
So they'll hop on and presumably take a nap right next to some nuclear bomb components. Generally they're all good-natured, and we keep our distance and go about our business. And yes, train-hopping is dangerous. In , people were killed due to "trespassing" on railroad tracks , though the stats don't note how many of those were train-hopping versus suicides and slow-footed pedestrians.
They'll wait around outside of the terminal for the train to slow enough or come to a stop, and hop on and ride it 'til they get where they're going.
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The non-career ones are the ones who are a danger to themselves. They face being exposed, or worse, slipping between a car and getting crushed. And while there may be a "live and let live" attitude toward homeless train-hikers who stay back with the cargo, conductors aren't so thrilled by riders who want to sleep up around where they're trying to drive. I get that they're looking for a dry warm place to sit down, but when I'm walking back to one of our other locomotives at three in the morning dog-tired and Hobo Steve is sitting in the chair in his underwear picking shit out from between his toes, no thanks.
I have enough crap to worry about. Everyone's happy!
The more important a job is, the more important it is for the people doing the work to be relaxed and stress-free. We assume that's why all our pizza delivery guys are stoned all the time. Well, there are few jobs more important than carrying nuclear material and murder fluid, so what does the railroad do to help Rick relax on the job?
We aren't treated well by the management, and that's a universal thing. We are used and abused. When I'm working, my rest is only 10 hours long. In theory, I could be going to work every 10 hours perpetually 'til I hit my maximum hours of service.
I worked all morning, and as of this moment, I have been awake for 31 hours. Tell me how that's safe.
We can't, because that seriously does make it sound like small cities full of action movie plot devices are being operated by angry zombies. We're also starting to think that all those run-over animals might not have been accidents. Rick continues, "Because of this job, I've missed out on every first with my daughter as she's grown up. I get to tuck her into bed and read her a story one night a week. I make good money, but I don't have a good family life.
The bottom line is that Rick often feels overworked, tired, and justifiably pissed off while transporting WMDs. So, out of curiosity: Where is the geographically farthest point from any major freight train lines?
We kid, but it is true that it doesn't take that much to derail a train. Normally, the cow catcher on the front which, given everything we now know about freight trains, is a huge misnomer would push debris off the rail, or at the very least the wheel would push it off.
But for some reason, this big hunk of steel went under the catcher and the wheels.
When the chunk of steel got stuck and became an immovable object, the locomotives derailed and rolled on their sides down an embankment. Thankfully, Rick wasn't aboard that train, but he did see the aftermath of the derailment. And yet he's still a conductor. This is hopefully due to his enduring confidence in the railroads' safety features, rather than from being so tired that he doesn't care anymore whether he lives or dies.
Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a Cracked columnist, interviewer, and editor. Contact him at c. Also, follow us on Facebook , and we'll follow you everywhere. Have a story to share with Cracked? Email us here. Don't make me do this again.
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